January 18, 2008

Am I too harsh

I was thinking about my post from yesterday and wondering if perhaps I was too harsh on the ole Associate Dean. I've been adding and tweaking a particular poem and maybe I am too fired up about race this week. NOT. Fooled you, you probably thought I was loosing my mind. It just fits in with the part of my poem I was stuck on actually. I kept thinking I can't pick on educators. It's the educators in this town that frustrate me the most. People who want to be called Doctor whatever and they have been more cruel to my family than anyone else. That darn Dr. McCurdy, just thinking about her and Mr. Blazzard just make me want to bop somebody. How do I express my frustration in verse?

I have so many lines that go through my head during the day. I want to say something about new voices and the chorus we can become if we come together for a common cause. I'm starting to get a little worried because I've been working on this particular poem all week and it is still not finished enough for me to say it accurately expresses what I want. I forgot how much tweaking is required to get my work where I want it. I don't honestly know if you ever finish something. Here's an example, I noticed when I was trying to balance one of my poems on the page that it had three or four sections of 15 to 17 lines. I thought wow I could pile another element to it if I can restructure the sections into 16 line sections. This is like a year after I wrote it. I guess it is part of the experience as I learn more I start to kind of think about the work.

This does relate to me being too hard on the Dean. The more I see so called educated people act a fool the angrier I get. Perhaps it has been my poor perception. I assumed that educated people were smarter than the common man. All these years I've assumed that people were cruel because they 'just didn't know' that what they did or said was wrong. This is what makes me even madder about the Dean thing. Educated people know better, after all, they spent at least a week discussing diversity (sorry that's a whole nother issue). To know better and disregard everything you are supposed to be teaching others is sinister in a way. Maybe not sinister but fake. Do people not realize that humans can always see through the cracks. I am not very good at reading body language etc. There are some people who can read the slightest differences and accurately interpret them. I am a firm believer that eventually your facade will come crashing down and others will see. Which of course leads me back to my we are all flawed speech.

Maybe I was too harsh on the Dean.

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