The Finer Things in Life

Okay today was the ultimate of all days ever! I know as soon as I pen this story I will have to live with the live with the consequences of what I write. No problem!

Here's the deal.. Once upon a time we lived in Oceanside, California because Camp Pendleton was our home away from home so to speak. Anyone who has ever been stationed at Camp Pendleton, you can say Carne Asada burrito and instantly it brings memories of Alberto's then it switched to Umberto's at some point. Just to give me some credibility points here Google it, type in Carne Asada Burrito, Oceanside. Anyway, we have driven 200 miles out of our way while vacationing in California just so we could get our Carne Asada fix.

Our town sucks when it comes to Carne Asada Burritos. We have searched for fourteen years to bring that same ultimate pleasure back to our lives. We've tried every 'Authentic Mexican' food joint in town and to no avail we have always come up short. Or shall I say everyone else here in town has come up short. Oh my goodness, today my wonderful husband surprised me with the ultimate pleasure of all pleasures. I know what you are thinking but it involves food people. Anyway, he said he stopped off at this place Los Beto's and said that it came highly recommended and he ordered a couple of Carne Asada Burritos. Of course I was expecting something close to a Bert's sullied with beans and rice and whatever else these freaks think makes a great Carne Asada confection. To my shock and pleasure it was similar in size, same homemade tortillas, great carne asada meat, no beans, no rice, just tomatoes, cilantro, onions, and tons of carne asada meat.

Okay, I know it sounds ridiculous but we have searched and sampled for 14 years to recapture the ultimate taste of all tastes. I wanted to take out an advertisement that said, "Calling all Camp Pendleton Marines, carne asada burritos just like home do exist in Boise!" Shout it from the rooftops. Amazing, amazing and more amazing. It was by far the best thing ever. I told my husband that someone had remarked on the internet that it was better than sex and he of course agreed that the burritos were great but not quite that great. I didn't say it of course someone else did but man the burritos are fabulous and it is as close to the Oceanside sun and beach I've been to in 5 years. Fabulous, more fabulous and just phenomenal. It has only taken 14 years for us to find them but it was worth every year of agony to finally find the ultimate California pleasure.

The way it just melts in your mouth is indescribable. I have to call it a confection. It isn't a confection in the traditional sense but it is a rare treat. I haven't had one in 5 years and it was worth every bite. Try this on for size. My husband loved them so much that that is what he wanted for dinner tonight. We are both like kids in a candy store.

Carne Asada Burrito from Los Beto's is a finer thing in life.

The Pink Flower Trees Are Green

What happened to spring? It is so cold and gloomy. Yesterday I sat outside and watched the rain come down and nearly froze to death also. When I came back in, I pulled up the ole widget and realized it was only 49 degrees outside. That did not include any consideration for the vicious wind that was also blowing. Trust me it was chilly.

It was kind of strange because I've noticed that I love the sun. The sun refreshes me. As much as I try to hide my roots, somehow in my brain I still think that it should only be cloudy in the morning, break by ten and assume a reasonable amount of sunshine by early afternoon. Perhaps I should not complain about the weather so much because it is supposed to be hot again by the weekend. Why do we all do that? We complain when it is too hot, we complain when it is too cold etc. But who determines perfect weather. I believe the perfect weather consensus is somewhere in the mid-70's. I am not sure about that but I do believe that most people would agree that mid-70's is perfect weather as long as the sun is shining and the wind does not blow you over.

What about the landscape intrigues me? Well, I love to take photos of the environment, good and bad. Okay, I do need to stop myself for a minute and explain that I also take pictures of the odd, bums, car accidents (which since Nita's crash I may reconsider that one), and anything else that seems interesting. The great part of 'going digital' is that you don't have to print all of those pictures if you don't want to. I love it because shots that don't turn out as beautiful as you hope you can just delete them and not waste time or money on garbage.

Obviously today I am all over the world and back with my train of thought but it feels nice to not be so restricted to the mundane for this weeks writing assignment. Outdoors can be so inspiring in a way. I miss that I didn't get pictures of tulips this year or the pretty pink flower trees I walked by everyday and vowed to bring my camera so I could catch them before they turned green. I missed my chance, the trees are filled with fresh green leaves now. Perhaps it is a reminder of how we should treat other people. We don't know how long they will be with us. We can't put it off. Maybe the thing you are holding onto, to express to another person only lasts a season. It that is the case then don't let that season change color on you before you do what's in your heart. Tell others how you feel even if it is somewhat painful to do so.

Fond Memory and Healing

Again and again with nonstop thought about Nita. Today we went to Café Ole and all I could think about was Nita. Al and I sat there talking pleasantly to one another and I simply remembered. We were there looking at one another and eating and chatting about what…I really don’t quite remember.

When we walked up to the restaurant doors I remarked to Al that I only think about Nita about 50 times a day. I understand the process of grief but it still doesn’t quite help me understand her death. My faith and my humanness collide endlessly as I try repeatedly to understand that life is going to be okay without her.

That day we picked Al up from the airport sweet Nita was there. My husband is such a wonderful big brother. To Café Ole we went, a family tradition that was birthed by some tradition we started when my mother comes to visit. Al wanted to show his little sisters how ‘we roll.’ I recall the two of them, Nita and Lou Lou sitting across that big booth table with us. They loved the food. Nita said she would have to get her boyfriend to bring her there because the food was so much better than the place where he and his family always went when they are in town.

What did we hope to accomplish by going there again today? I am not sure, for me I can say that it was a way to remember her again perhaps. She was so beautiful and happy, and filled with the same old fiery fun that made her so special. I regret that she was so much younger than the rest and I had not learned to appreciate her so much because she was just the baby. One of the young ones that still made mistakes and bad choices, and all the other things that young people do.

Listen to me, I sound like some old lady but it was difficult to appreciate her because she was so young and distant in some ways. Nita idolized her big brother and loved him because she was proud of the man he’d become. How did she feel about me? I am not really sure but I can say with a clean conscience that I was proud of her and one of the last conversations we had was about how proud I was of her and to keep up the good work and finish with her schooling goals.

Sweet, sweet, girl who touched so many lives. One thing that I will say is that she was sort of like me in one way. She touched people on an individual level. She took on her brothers and sisters one by one and made each of them feel special.

So, what did I accomplish today? I was able to stare death in the face again and tell it that it cannot steal me away down the road of grief and despair forever. I told death today that people live on, and we can walk down some of the same old pathways and remember those we’ve lost without being overcome by the ravages of what death brings. I know that it is not a one-day process and I won’t wake up in the morning not remembering. Today only about ten times did I debate in my head about her being murdered. It sounds so obscure on the page, almost as obscure as it sounds when it is voiced to another.

We will all survive this time and over and over again I keep thinking that I want to write something special about her. What do I write? What will best help my little nephew to remember or acquaint him with who his mother was to each of us? She touched so many people individually that I don’t think I could ever collect all of the stories.

Earlier today, I sat on my porch and wondered what I would write about today. What can one say? I believe in a God. I believe that bad things happen to good people. I told Al today that it was remarkable that Nita had lost so many babies before my nephew, at least three previous miscarriages that I know of. Maybe that was her one HUGE purpose in life was to give life to her son.

My Summer Online Journal

Hey there great folks. Yeah right, nobody has been reading because I have been away. Well, I have a class this summer, ENGL 401 and we are required to do a journal five days a week. I am on day three and I figured instead of just writing in my little private journal that I would go ahead and keep my BLOG updated for at least the summer and then I could just post on here a couple of times a week. Time management you know.

It has been a very tragic last couple of weeks. Nita passing away is still a very raw emotional spot for me. For those of you who don't know what happened, my baby sister (my husband's sister actually) passed away suddenly. She was in a car accident (crash, it was no accident) and was killed. I have been going through various emotions. The hardest part for me is to realize that yes she was murdered by someone. To come to terms with the fact that someone intended to stop the vehicle any way they could which is murder. I cannot begin to grasp how someone could not think that hitting someone else in a vehicle with your vehicle could result in death or serious injury. Mike Martin killed two people as a result of this careless act.

To make matters worse, what I did not realize until it was mentioned to me that all of people involved had children and now there are two generations that are effective by one persons actions. Collectively we are talking about five children I think who for one reason or another will not have a parent in their life because of one persons actions.

I've been thinking about how I could properly memorialize her and what I could do. I am thinking of writing a little chap book or something where I interview some people and write a section about Nita based on each person's views. I need to do this while memories are still fresh but not while wounds are too deep. I want to do something for my little nephew that will never see the beauty others saw in his mama. It pains me greatly to know that that poor precious child will not be able to enjoy having his mother in his life.

I want him to be fifteen or sixteen and be able to say this was my mom, this is what she enjoyed, this is what she was like, all because we (his family) and me are willing to take the time to chronicle a legacy for him. That my friends is my next writing project.

YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS

Did you miss me? Okay, I just needed the right 'incident' to get me started. What is up with the 'immediate ceasefire'? I love American politics. On the one hand we have a huge group of people in our country crying outrage because of what is going on in Iraq. The general consensus is that the US has no business going into another country and dictating our own values, agendas, etc. How is this so different with what is going on between Israel and Lebanon?

Maybe I am the one not getting it. This is my take on the 'immediate ceasefire' calls from everyone. I think in general people are fools. There is no winning on the battleground of American politics. On the one hand you have a majority of people who feel like we should not intervene with the any conflict unless say it's another Pearl Harbor (in essence a direct attack on Americans). These same people are calling for us to now intervene in this other conflict that essentially has nothing to do with us at all. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS. This is the problem when you try to blanket policies. If your opinion is that we have no business interfering with other nations and what they do, then this is not our fight. People finally get the President to essentially do what they want and now it's the wrong thing to do.

I am appalled by the idea that no one is bringing this particular argument to the forefront. I feel like it is relevant and should be talked about. We as a people are the most wishy-washy people on the planet. I am a fairly black and white person. I feel like we go all the way in one direction or all the way in another. Now think this through, what people are proposing is for us to call for an immediate ceasefire and then provide troops for an international peacekeeping force. Why? So we can get bogged down in yet another conflict for how long? What would be the overall mission? What would happen if our troops went in and there was no clear cut plan on disengaging? Are you starting to see where I am going with this? I hope you do.

Thus, my statement for the day is... You can't have it both ways.

Your proposal is that we send our troops to an open ended conflict with no particular goals or disengagement strategy. On top of that, you relinquish control of those troops to some other entity (The UN or whomever else). And of course the topper; who is going to pay for all of this? Is the bill for Iraq not big enough for you? Stop asking for something that you've been asking for in Iraq and if that isn't enough you want to repeat the SAME action again because we don't agree with one side or the other. I don't like what is going on anywhere in the world. I think it is all a bunch of BS. What can you do? My only offer of solution is not to repeat the past. The Israel/Lebanon conflict will turn into another Iraq if we intervene. There is no way I could support something like Iraq again. I am not willing to let my family be put through this again. As differences of opinions collide I want to speak out as a voice for some of the families that are going through Iraq and Afghanistan. We don't want our loved ones in harms way for all of the !@#$%^&*( that have been critical about the battlefronts we are fighting right now.

So talk about sending troops as part of an 'international peacekeeping force' all you want. What if all of us just say, no more we won't protect you when you feel it is convenient and you should just stuff it. Be happy with the fact that the President has finally decided to take your advice and not get involved with another quagmire with no end in sight. If you don't like it, volunteer to do more to assist people in need in other places. Look at the slaughter and disease that has gone unchecked by the US and everyone else in Africa. Oh...you don't want to talk about that now do you?

How Could It Get Any Better?

What an up and down week. First of all Happy July! Another month has come and gone. Are you surprised that I have become so consistent? Yeah, me too. I've been fairly busy lately without being productive. Kinda-Sorta. I have been working on things for school but my house is still a mess so I consider that non-productive. It's been kind of touch and go this last week. I had a new nephew that was born last week but he wasn't doing all that hot at first. Now I am happy to report, he is doing great and it looks like he may finally get out of the hospital and go home soon. I am so happy about that. It's tough to see newborns with health issues. It is one of the most humbling things imaginable.

I am amazed by this little youngsters parents. They have been doing an outstanding job considering. I am floored at the courage and commitment they have to their child. It is very refreshing to see parents whose sole purpose is being patient loving people even in times of crisis. That's good stuff you know. How could it get any better than that?

Frank

One of my other sisters called me last night and told me some potentially devastating news. Devastating you say? Yes, very much so. The news concerns our other sisters boyfriend. He's very sick, to the point where they do not expect him to live much longer. She calls and ask that I pray for him. How? What do I want? What does he want? Can I do anything? Can I make a difference? If so, what kind of a difference can I make?

These are the questions that I asked myself. To compound matters, our other sister has had some hard times and has checked herself into a facility to get some help. She doesn't know that her boyfriend is gravely ill. Does someone tell her and risk her coming out of the facility and spiraling down that path again? It's way too complicated for one person to fathom. I can't solve this with anything I say to anyone, I can't make people change, nor can I force my beliefs on anyone. I wish that I could though. What would I tell them?

I would tell them that there is a better way. Jesus offers that better way. It's not a joke or the opiate of the masses. We hear that and people call Christians freaks because they don't understand the realness of being close to Jesus. I can't explain it. The only thing I can ever suggest is to try it. Why all this? I'm scared, I don't know if Frank has ever accepted Jesus into his life. What if he hasn't? What if, what if, what if? Is it too late? From what I understand, Frank is delusional and out of his right mind right now. What do I pray for? What can I do all these miles away?

I'm torn, they gave him a pretty raw dianosis. When someone says that three quarters of your heart is not functioning and the persons body begins to fill up with fluid there doesn't seem to be much hope. I want him to be completely healed. I want Frank to live. But, is that what concerns me the most? No! What concerns me the most is his spiritual health. Call me freak then, I don't care anymore. What if this man dies and there is something else that I could have done to 'preach' to him and I didn't. I recall him sitting in my house about a year and a half ago and I preached at him a little and told him that it is through the power of God that changes lives. I didn't just put it all out there on the line though and ask him if he had ever accepted Christ. Do you think I did the wrong thing by not just asking him? It's these tragedies that always put me back to this place of wondering if I've done enough.

I am not ashamed of Christ but I am so not eloquent when it comes to face to face talks with people about the saving, healing, loving, forgiving, and on and on and on power of the Lord. I can write it like a big dog though. It's real, I know this and nothing can ever change my opinion regarding that. I've experienced it and also I watch and wonder after all of my many, many screw ups why the Lord continues to put up with me. I know that there is hope for anyone.

This is not about me though, this is about Frank. This is about what to pray and what to say. I told my sister when she called to pray for peace. Peace for Frank's mind and his family and friends. Peace for his very soul to let the spirit do what needs to be done. I'd hate to be in that place and not know for sure that the Lord will never leave me or forsake me. I'd hate to not have the comforting joy that no matter what, my family would understand and know for sure that even if I passed I would be going to a better place.

So, I pray for Frank today. I pray for his peace and healing in his body but most of all I pray that if he's never been given a chance or even if he has that he gets the clear message of the gospel. Frank's had some issues but what has he done that is so terrible in comparison to the rest of us? Though we do not want to hear it, sin is sin. The point is that no one is perfect or better than anyone else. We are all the same which puts us all in the same boat and it gives us all the same opportunities. An equal opportunity God!

Pray for Frank and his family, pray for my sister's wellbeing.

God Bless. If you haven't experienced the love of Christ I suggest you ask and seek Jesus. He changes lives.

Just when you think things are going good

From time to time, just when you think things are going good there is a little roadblock. It's days like this that we hate at the time. Always remember it is those roadblocks though that stand out in our mind. They create memories of their own. Memories of...I was tootling along and then IT happened!


I know, blah, blah, blah, what's the point. Well, I had a roadblock this week. Now though, it's Friday and life is sweet again, like chocolate covered strawberries. I can face the weekend feeling like something actually happened in my life and it sure wasn't the same ole' boring week that is for sure. Roadblock vs. opportunity not to have the same ole boring week? You decide.

My little sister got married

They did it! They tied the knot or any other thing you want to call it. What do I call it? I call it a fabulous event. I am so happy that my little sister finally got married. She didn't just marry any ole' guy either. She actually married a really nice guy with an equally loving family. It's hard when you release someone you love into the care of someone else. There is a certain amount of uneasiness that comes. Fortunately, she made an outstanding choice and in my opinion, so did he.

I could go on and on with numerous accolades about my little sister. She is a wonderful person who has a strong family base. What I mean by that is that she cares about everyone and from watching her over the years one thing that I've learned is that she will make the hard choices and the sacrifices for her family. My only hope is that she will continue to do the same with her new husband. Just support whatever he's doing and things will always work out. It is her genuine kindness and honesty as a person that draws family and friends to her.

The only thing I really want to say is that it was a beautiful wedding and I am thankful that I was invited to their nuptials. It was good stuff. Of course I have to say, that when they move out of state that I do pray that they find a local church to attend. That's just me! I want them to not only be grounded in each other but also grounded to a local church that feeds them spiritually also. It's important for people to be connected--to meet new people. DO NOT GET CAUGHT UP IN RELIGION! Religion is rigorous and cumbersome and personally, I don't think things were meant to be that way. But! get connected somewhere and enjoy life.

I love you baby girl. With all my heart I love you and I as I come to know your husband I am sure I will love him too. You made an excellent choice. Always speak your mind but also know when to be silent, things just have a way of working themselves out sometimes. I entrust you, make that we, me and your brother, entrust you with confidence into the hands of someone else. I never thought that day would come but it has. Remember always, we love you very, very much and so do the boys. Gosh, I forgot to mention something about the boys. Dude! You have totally watched them grow up. Don't forget about them in your future travels. They love you very much and have said excellent things about you. You inspired them. I will quote from what the baby said, "She didn't date a whole bunch of people, she waited for the right one to come along and she got married to him." Good stuff my friend.

Let's see, I think that's it. I preached a little because I care about you, if not, I wouldn't put myself out on the line. Look at me, I am so not perfect. I still struggle in so many ways but we are all imperfect people who live in an imperfect world. The best we can do is the best we can do.

Always do the best you can for yourself, I could not ask for more. You both are wonderful people and you know we are always here for you, whatever you need. Okay this is my very last thing. Try to make-up with your friend before you leave. I was in a similar situation when I married your brother. Eventually, I made-up with my friend but it took 10 years. Learn from one of my many mistakes. True friendship is forever no matter what.

Look who's back

Today marks the beginning of something good I hope. I helped someone set up a new BLOG this weekend and realized what a fool I've been for not maintaining my own site. Silly me. I've had a ton to say but have chosen to keep it all in.

No more! There is one particular person who will stay unnamed that I have a very serious issue with. This person is a total and complete racist jerk. It challenges my Americanized brain to see how people who are racist operate. An incident or two concerning my kids took place and I had to do the 'smoke this sucker out' thing. He rang true to his true colors. For those of you who are non-ethnic, unfortunately I can't give away trade secrets so you'll have to ask someone else how to expose the racist.

I was shocked when the exposure took place but generally, we already have a clue but I think we use it as the final evidence to convict. It would be much easier, I think if a racist person just came out and said they were racist. If people would just have enough nerve to come out and admit it it would be so less time consuming.

Anyway, it is unfortunate that these types of people are elevated in Idaho to positions of authority without being kept in-check. This frightens me. It is amazing how this happens right under our very noses. Look at all of the fallout over comments made by our new State Leader. He created a storm of trouble this last week. He got blasted in the newspaper in New Orleans and they accused him of being racist based on comments he made to a European newspaper.

Initially my reaction was to defend Jim Risch but then when I started thinking about it I had to come to the realization that yeah, there are a ton of racist, narrowminded bigots in my state. Some hidden, some right out there on front street. What do we do? At least the ones that are right out on front street are visible and it does not require the 'smoke them out' dance to expose them. Instead at least I know what I am working with. It is the hidden racists that I am most threatened by. The ones that have no interest in you as a person except to dominate you secretly. It sounds outlandish and 'overly sensitive' on my part but it's not. It is the full on truth.

My latest dealings with this last person was odd. This butthead won in some ways in the end. But, he does not understand that it is not up to me to have the last laugh. As hard as it is to do, I must turn his backwards butt over to the Lord. I must let Him, who can do so much more than I, take care of this battle. I started thinking about slavery. Why as a culture did we endure for hundreds of years? I think it was our faith in the Lord. He gave us as a people the strength to endure the hardships we faced. In the end many lives were lost. Why? Those lives were lost so I could have the freedom today to continue to confront the racism that exists in my world. I can freely express and expose the oppression faced by minorities in Idaho.

And for that, I am thankful for a people who persevered until the end and gave up their lives for me to freely expose those who still try to oppress us in large and small ways.

Pray for your enemies and those who despitefully use you.


Dawn

Remember Me?

Wow it's been forever since I have been on my own BLOG to check things out. I will have to send out an email to everyone telling them that things are good again. I hope everyone is doing well. My life is slightly out of control but guess what? School is almost out for the semester. How cool is that?

Take care and I will try to post more often.

Lazy Days Of Summer Are Over

The lazy days of summer are over. What can I say about us? Not too much. Things have been good. School will start again soon for all of us. Oh but a wonderful, restful summer we had. It wasn't bad at all. Here's a picture to enjoy that depicts how I feel now. Rested, refreshed and calm. Summer breaks are not too bad. Everyone needs one. I am really quite happy that school is starting. I've been a little lazy and crazy these days. For some reason I am having some difficulty getting this to operate for me today so I must make this short. I hope you enjoyed your summer and I'll write to you soon.

I've been silent long enough

I've been silent for way too long. I've been relaxing in a fog of nothingness. You know how every once in awhile you just want to take a break from everything. I did it but how selfish of me to do so.

That's the perfect lead right into something important to say. I put a link to a BLOG you may want to check out. It's to 'body on the line'. One of my professors is turning out some unbelievable posts. It is something else because no one necessarily agrees with everything that another person says or does. With that in mind I think you should check it out what she has to say. She is really turning up my moral heat.

I wonder how anyone can condone human suffering and oppression and still call ourselves Christian or civilized. Many of us seem to forget the love verses in the Bible. With that said check out her BLOG. She is not a Christian person just an ordinary citizen of this planet like us all but her points are eye opening and moving. I think there is something everyone with any working compass can see something of value in what she says.

You know this won't really be a post all about my professor but take this one last thought before I move on to another point. How many of us are willing to go as far as she has for anything we passionately believe? It is a lesson for us all to take the time to put ourselves on the line for others and the sake of what's right. We get so wrapped up in impressions that we forget that THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND US. Check it out. She seems to post a few times a week. If you miss getting there once a week at least you will really miss out!

So, with that said...I need to be more diligent with my posts as before. Things as you know are changing for us left and right. With all of the changes though we still manage to stay sane. I invite you to keep coming back. I am back in reality and look forward to returning from the outer reaches to say something worth listening to. So, keep the picture I posted in mind and come back later to sit awhile with us, we have your chair and your pole ready.

So Much Goin' On

There has been so much going on with us. We keep busy you know with school and kids, family and all of those things just like everyone else. We don't look at ourselves as anything overly special. Mostly we are thankful for the life that we have.

Each of us knows that things could be worse or better. We just got back from our much needed vacation to Washington. It was good times. The boys enjoyed meeting and seeing relatives that they had never met or hadn't seen in years. You know how kids can be, they may not admit to themselves right now that they genuinely had a great time per se but they did.

The most inspirational part of our trip was meeting Uncle Simon and Aunt Bonnie. They along with everyone else showed us such a wonderful time. Grandma Barret was so very kind to us to let us stay with her. We all felt more blessed from the trip than anything else. It was nice on the one hand to be away from our busy lives and doing something as a family but it was also nice to be a part of the lives of others.

So often all of us get so wrapped up in what we are doing that we forget about others on some level. We forget about what it is like to relish in the richness that being around kind and generous people can do to the human soul. Kindness is more refreshing than anything in life. It's love really. We call it kindness because we do not know its real name. Simply put it's love.

Jesus said to love one another the way that He's loved us. Those words have meaning to me more this week. So do all of those other cheesy sayings like love conquers all. It's true though. Evaluate your life for a minute. Think about how your kindness (aka love) has changed others in some small or large way. Are you getting the picture? I hope so. Life goes beyond our day to day titles of wife, mother, sister, husband, brother, father, child, niece, nephew, uncle, aunt, co-worker, friend, etc. We experience life in sections of relationships. Each with its own set of norms and boundaries. But with another cheesy statement, love has no bounds.

Love moves freely in each relationship that we allow it to. To put us next to one another in special kinds of ways. It captures things that we can't see on the surface and draws it to a place so near to us that we feel and experience it in a way that produces things like thoughtful stares and radiant smiles. It takes the human spirit and refreshes us more than I can describe.

Love has been given a bad wrap; Lovesick puppy...and a ton of other things I can't get to come to mind right now. Don't be tripped up by these uniformed sayings that are just cliche's in the end. They are just goofy ways to say more nonsense than anything.

Love and kindness are not interchangeable really. kindness is something we might do out of obligation. Love is something we do for no other reason but for the sake of love itself. Nobody seems to have a definitive answer on love. It is because it is. I sound like an overly sappy fool but I'm not. I just arrived back from a journey, a vacation that changed my life is all. I have a deeper understanding of why each and every one of us is here. We are here to get by and do the everyday mundane. We are here to hold jobs and be too busy to call someone or write them a letter. We are here to make friends and stab them in the back as soon as they turn on you. We are here to build people up and them shatter them like glass hitting the floor. OF COURSE NOT!

Maybe you are a person who has stumbled on my BLOG and are thinking this girl is absolutely crazy. Not any crazier than everyone else. We all do things that other people think is wired and wacky. No worries. The real question though is who do you love? Do you love your family, do you have that feeling inside that you can't describe either when you think of people that you love and they love you back? Have you been touched by their suedo kindness which is only love in hiding? I bet you have.

It feels pretty darn good doesn't it? To think of the peace and comfort that one of those loving relationships you have and share with at least one other person. Pass it on. Don't bottle it up inside and hold it so tightly that you fear if some of it oozes out that it can't be replaced. Love is the strangest thing on the planet because the more of it you give away, the more you get back.

I've taken it a bit too far but it's fun to let yourself go for a minute or two. We had a super vacation. I love more people in my life. I got an opportunity to add to my love list. It felt good for us all to recharge and replenish, to refresh ourselves outside of our daily, weekly, monthly, same ole same ole. Even if I barely have time to sleep these days I feel better for who I am because I've had an experience with husband, children....all of those other people that are a part of our interconnected fabric of family.

Pick up a phone, write a letter, an email, or simply say a loving pray to the one who listens about the one(s) you love today. Get refreshed in yet another day of So Much Goin' On.

Dawn E Pooh

Seattle Washington Pikes Market