Top of the mornin' to ya!

Things are blah for me it seems. If you noticed, I allowed Nita's movie to kind of pass down further on the page. I kept it as the first item you'd see on my blog for about 3 weeks. I've been under some pressure by Al's family to get some reprints made of her program. I haven't done it yet. I need to get on that. It's been hard to readjust to being back in school, working, keeping up with the family and so on.

I am just kind of making it right now. How is it that in our society we don't hold any value in 'just making it' as a productive state? Do you like how I called it a productive state? It is a productive state though because I am not moving backwards. I've got homework bleeding through my skin practically, plus work, plus kids, plus little things that come up. One of my sisters called yesterday and she has to go to a meeting tonight. She has like four frickin' kids. They vary in ages but she kind of wants me to keep an eye on her kids while she's at the meeting. No big deal but of course I start thinking about how much homework I could get done in the three or four hours of time that it will take to watch two or more of her kids. She ask me if I could watch her older girls which is totally no big deal, they are not that difficult to keep an eye on. But! She's got two babies, one is just a few months old and the other is two. She said she talked to somebody who is conducting this meeting and they said she could bring the little ones.

It slipped out but I did say, "Oh, you better leave the little screamer with me." The screamer is her youngest boy by the way. He's not as much of a screamer as he used to be but he can be quite a handful. There is no way in good conscience I can let her go to a professional meeting with him in toe. If she wants to take him, fine, whatever but it would go very, very bad, guaranteed. So, I think I will have three little kids on my hands tonight.

In some ways, I am 'just making it' but in other ways I see myself experiencing personal growth. Maybe I just have the wrong perspective. I want to move faster and do better and all of those adult things that society tells us we should be doing. Who am I to conform right?

Yes, I am moving on from Nita's death. I am sometimes 'just making it' but I've watched as some of the family is still floundering. I can't let myself just flounder going around in circles. It's hard because I have to always be cognizant of the fact that the rest of the family is so much younger and has never had to go through this death mode. Some people just act a fool when someone dies. Others do seem to step up and realize that others do continue to live.

I guess if I have to write something somewhat profound today I would say that 'just making it' is not a bad place to be. At least you can find comfort in the fact that you aren't moving backwards, and that my friend, is progression.

Top of the mornin' to ya.