Without A Cause

I feel a little unsettled. I absolutely have no causes or rants right now. Shocking for some to believe. People will be people and I accept that. I don't accept that people should just sit around and not do anything to improve something about themselves. When i sat down to start writing this a few minutes ago I thought I didn't have a cause or anything worthwhile to write about. I think there's an idea rattling around in my head. I added this picture of Chris. When we take these kinds of pictures in our family we call them "the money shot" because if we were professional photographers photographs like these would bring in the cash. What else could this picture say?

Christian is a fairly decent little runner. He's not the very best but he can hold his own and he enjoys running. He made it to the Idaho State Cross-Country tournament. I look at this photograph and I know that four days a week during the summer these kids got up and ran on their own at 8:00 am. I know that he has run better this year than last year. When he came across that finish line it meant much more to him than he'll ever express to me. Oh of course we all hear stories of personal perseverance all the time but when is the last time as an adult to acknowledge that you've made it through another hurdle. We only seem to rub our brow and say, "oh thank God I made it through that," when we face tragedies or 'adult' things. What about the 'kid' things?

We look at our own personal accomplishments as the expected. Our families expect this or that from us, but what do you expect from yourself? I can only speak for myself. I find, especially since I have kids, that so much of my identity revolves around them. I hadn't noticed how I do manage to bring balance to my life and identity though until now. I do let my focus linger around my kids and their accomplishments. I try not to steal their thunder when they accomplish goals and dreams. I have my own personal accomplishments and even my 'kid' victories. There is no denying that when I walk into the laundry room after way too many hours of washing clothes and I say to myself, oh man I managed to get ALL of the laundry done today, it is a victory. I hit that finish line like Christian did and know that a task that was important to me was completed. It seems small but it means so much to me to get the laundry done.

What am I attempting to say here? I want to say that we should all be more cognizant of our little day to day victories that are unseen by others and even the ones that are but we don't talk them up like the BIG adult victories. We do so much for each other within families and as friends or communities. Don't lose your focus. There are so many people out there that are walking around without focus or beating themselves up because they feel like their lives have no value at all. It's towards these people that I feel so much sorrow. Life is short--even for the young (Nita reference). Be thankful for your small childlike accomplishments and stop being so much of an adult every now and then. Live to the fullest, it's really worth it.

Come To Terms

I was thinking about the pain experienced by the women in my husband's family. I think about his sisters and how most of them were molested by a family member. Yeah, I wrote that. I said it out loud in my own way. I fear sometimes that one of his brothers or sisters will stumble upon my blog and have to read some of the things I've written here. This time though I almost hope in a way that they will read about themselves.

At first I couldn't understand why this tragedy happened to so many of them. I realized recently when I was talking to one of the sisters that they never felt protected by a father figure (just to put everything to rest now it wasn't the father who did this to them). The one sister that I talked to said she remembers a particular day when she was a little girl and this person took her off somewhere and she's blocked everything out except the dress she was wearing. I imagine her with her pretty little dress blowing in the breeze and this monster leading her away by the hand.

I'm almost at the point in my life where I am ready to say something to the person who did all of this. Of course it would cause a HUGE family stink but who cares at this point. I watch MY SISTERS all suffer because of what one person did to them. In total I think it happened to 5 of them. Five women forever changed because of what one person did to them. I see the devastation caused in their lives. As an outsider looking in I understand them all a little better. A couple of them went to the 'adults' in the family but nobody stuck up for them. I won't write down why this happened but let me tell you it was one messed up situation. They need to deal with this though.

I must get ready to close but one of the sisters told me that she couldn't wait until a particular person was dead so that she could confront her attacker. We live with family secrets and things we don't want to talk about. Unhealthy things.

Revisiting A Far Far Past

Someone said something at work yesterday and it made me think of 'the band' so I went out onto the internet to find the web address for Long Beach Junior Concert Band (LBJCB). I ended up finding a link to youtube. Wow!

All I can say is what would LBJCB be without its drummers? The memories flooded back and I ended up finding all of these links to different videos. I wish I could say that everyone with a video camera knows how to use it but the footage is not the best but I hope you will feel the essence of the pride they've felt about themselves over the years.

If I've done this correctly, you should be able to click on the title and see one little video of LBJCB Drummers. If I've really done this correctly you should be able to see a set of links to the right that will take you to multiple videos of LBJCB Drummers. I think I will look through some of my old stuff and see if I can bust out a picture to post to go with the links next week.

Dawn

Best Image I've Seen

This is by far one of the best images I've seen. I was just minding my own business, doing my job and I found this page in the 1976-1977 Boise State University Catalog. I don't need to write about this one, the picture says it all.

We Had A Discussion....

This morning I was driving one of the kids and we got off on a discussion about blackness. I love that kids are so profound. We were talking about hair this morning because one of my kids has the most beautiful curly brown hair and after the very nasty frowhawk he came home sporting one day his hair is finally getting long enough for him to have a nice style again. Anyway we immediately moved into the discussion of hair and some of the mixed young girls about town. Okay I am not going to point any fingers or anything but if your child is black and you have no clue how to take care of her hair, you need to learn. I have seen some of these kids, pretty babies mind you but their mamas don't know how to take care of their hair. It is amazing that even with the information super highway you still see some of these little girls and their mothers don't know how to manage the wildness that mixed hair brings. I am mortified because I know how important it is for little girls to fit in to some degree but the hair is dry, wild, and quite frankly.. nasty.

Though my kids are not girls, I can tell you that mixed hair is a breed of its own. My brown haired boy is a classic example of this. I have to stay on him about which products he can and can't use on his hair. One of the last things you want as a black person is dried out hair. I've seen plenty of the little girls walking around with some tore up hair. Poor things, I know that it has to be so frustrating for them to have this hair going fifty-thousand directions that hurts when it's combed, breaks off in chunks because there is no product on their hair etc. (This is so not the direction I was going to take but let's get it out there),

You know me and my links. I went out to a website and got a down and dirty link for you. As usual click on the title above to familiarize yourself with some tips for caring for African-American hair. By all means if you know somebody who needs help refer them to this website. Some of the tips are comical. I love the one that talks about how to handle the tangling problem. Check out the last line on that tip.

You know this is a touchy subject for people. The last thing that any mother wants to hear is that she doesn't know how to care for her child properly. Hair is a big issue. I am just tired of seeing these little girls about town with beautiful hair but the parents don't know how to take care of it. I think the reason that this bothers me so much is that I have a little cousin who hands down has the most beautiful hair I've ever seen on a child. Her tresses are long and beautiful like her mother's hair. I just couldn't imagine what she'd look like if her mother didn't know how to take care of her hair. Her hair is so long and beautiful that her mother keeps it in ponytails most of the time. On those rare occasions when she does wear her hair down I've heard that the poor child risks neck injury from swinging her hair around. I mention this because to some degree, MOST not all but MOST little girls want to look special and feel equally so. We are Americans and we do care about our appearance and one day that little girl is going to grow up and want to have nice hairstyles.

I'll finish this up. One of Nita's little friends that lived next door was mixed. That girl had some wild child hair. I ask her mother if she wanted me to come over and show her how to care for her daughters hair. She was very receptive to the idea because she was frustrated and so was her daughter. You know, I've seen this girl a couple of times and she's kept up doing her hair all these years and she looks so pretty, she's got confidence in herself etc etc. I also remember when I was in high school and one of my friends Areatha. I know my Mom remembers Areatha. That girl had some naps on her before we were friends. Anyway, I remember I showed her how to put some product on that mess she had. It was like a whole new world for her. I remember that she kept up relaxing her hair all through High School. I know from being her friend that she felt better about herself. It seems trivial in a way but it's really serious.

People like to have nice hair, even my boys try to have a little something going on with their hair. I look at the old pictures of myself and my mother took such wonderful care of my hair. Of course I did not appreciate it at the time. Mind you this was back in the pressing days too and I hated getting my hair pressed. The worst part of it is the heat when your hair is still a little wet and you have to get that comb next to the scalp. Anybody remember those days?